saturated in heavy guitar, laughed at by girls, sense overload from Quake Arena and you want to go outside and do something, watch another fx movie in 18 speaker dolby, surveillance society, ID badges and lanyards on your neck that burn, a teacher who gives you a look because you have to piss, no you can't stay at Jackie's house tonight because of what I had to do last time, Mad Max as a holy icon, and the canned bell music at the Catholic church makes you insane but you like the retarded guy who scissors the church lawn but he got fired because he looked at kindergarten girls while the priests give blowjobs in confession, war movies songs want to fuck you like an animal and secret websites with hand-passed codes to get into and you pull off and feel ten times worse when it's over, and gilrs laugh at you and guys yank your shorts down and your gay teacher says you did a good job in front of everybody and everybody says fag about you and at McD's you repeat your order three times and they still screw it upand it happens every time and girls laugh because you look funny that's all, funny, quote unquote, and the idea is you graduate and go to college and get a job and do what they did all over again and you do it until you get to die and you wonder where all the years with the fun stuff went, why it never happened in the first place and every door is a wall and every wind is asthma and every step you take is a form to be filled out three pages long and money always money what's money but negative numbers Daddy says and this house has been replaced with an exact replica since your childhood only different and not as good and your sister gets------and gets her period in the same grade and some damn kid in Singapore beats you every------time in online Diablo II and girls laugh and the question becomes not why he did he do it but why not